June 15, 2011

I can’t believe this feeling. My rib cage feels like it is going to tear open and a thousand black butterflies are going to flee from my pain stricken heart. I want to crawl undersomething, burry myself in a hillside.

I didn’t even know what I did at the time.

It was harmless. I wanted to touch his soft skin. And he let me. He wanted my body. And I let him. I thought that was just how a manwhore operated.

But then, he opened up to me, he answered my every call, and I thought I saw something else in his eyes. But the next day, it was gone. WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO!!!!!!!!!

I DIDN”T WANT TO LOVE YOU! but it fucking happened. FUCK you.

Then she shows up to bowl with our friends, and so many casual kisses are exchanged, and they way you held her… I wonder what the fuck you ever wanted with me. It seemed like you had everything you ever wanted. You move so fast, crouching tiger.

Congrats, you played your big field.

I didn’t even want to love you. I didn’t want to love you. But it happened anyway.